Mushroom Trips and Dick—Healing Through Mushrooms and Sensuality

Welcome back to Manifest That Shift! We’re kicking off Season 2 with a raw, no-holds-barred episode where Kelly spills all the tea on her personal journey with depression and why we need to talk about the intersection between entrepreneurship and mental health. Spoiler alert: success doesn’t mean sh*t if your mental health is crumbling. She dives deep into how she found healing through therapy, somatic breathwork, and self-care—because when you’re out of alignment, your business and life begin to feel heavy.

She also dives into the power of opening up, seeking support, and letting your circle hold you up. Plus, hear all about her recent retreat Quantum CEO Retreat—transformations, sisterhood, and reconnecting with her body and sensuality. And yes, there’s a wild mushroom trip that brought some major insights!

Lastly, She focused on thriving—not just surviving—and creating a community for entrepreneurial women ready to step into their power without sacrificing their mental health. It’s time to build, heal, and conquer together. This episode is for the visionary woman who’s ever questioned her purpose, hit a wall in her business, or found herself out of alignment. Expect real talk on:

Takeaways

• Entrepreneurship & Mental Health: The real truth about juggling a business when your energy is at its lowest.
  Healing Modalities: How plant medicine and sensuality reconnected Kelly to her power.
  Embodied Leadership: Why leading with authenticity and embracing your true experience is the ultimate flex.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of the world while pretending everything is fine, this one is for you, sis. Grab a tea, go on your hot girl walk, and let Kelly remind you that taking care of yourself is the most powerful business strategy there is.

Key Moments:

00:00 The Gap Between Entrepreneurship and Mental Health
05:16 Prioritizing Mental Health Over External Success
08:09 Healing Through Therapy and Somatic Breathwork
18:07 Creating Boundaries and Separating Work from Home
25:00 The Power of Opening Up and Seeking Support
28:58 The Power of Support and Retreats
35:13 Reconnecting with Sensuality and Embodiment
38:31 Insights from a Mushroom Trip
50:49 Thriving in Business and Creating Community

Resources Mentioned:

• Book Club: You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero

Transcript

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (00:01.68)
Welcome to the Manifest That Shift podcast. And this is episode one of season two. And if you could see me right now, I am smiling ear to ear because I am so excited to be back. my goodness. I feel like as a collective, I've had this conversation a lot and people have been moving through some stuff.

And as I was moving through my own darkness, I kept getting these really intuitive hits of like, okay, you have had seasons of depression your entire life, like ever since middle school. And you don't talk about it that often. And this needs to be one of the key pillars of your business because I feel like there's such a gap in the conversation between entrepreneurship and mental health.

And I honestly, I swear, every time I hit my lowest peaks of depression, you know, at the time, I didn't know what the language was, but I was completely out of alignment. I just knew I was meant for more. I knew I was supposed to be making an impact in the world and I would reflect on my life. And I just was like, what is my purpose? What is my why? I just don't understand why I'm here. And I know it's to be doing more than what I'm doing. And I thought that when I found my

business, my passion, my purpose, the thing that just like lights my soul on fire because I do have so many moments where I'm like, you need to pinch me. How am I actually getting paid to do this work? Like I'm so full of gratitude and I thought it would be gone, right? Like, when I found my purpose, it'd be gone. No, that's not exactly what happened. But I did have an episode of depression.

and I just want to talk about it and I want to talk about what I did to move through it. I want to talk about what happened and honestly two of the most powerful things that happened during the season and helped me move through it was mushroom trips and sucking. Can I say it? I don't think I can. Can I on the podcast? Eggplant.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (02:27.304)
And I was telling my husband about this. was like, my gosh, like, why do you have to, why are you talking about that? And I'm like, because it's my truth. And he was like, do you have to like say everything? And I'm like, yeah, kinda. I'm coming right now from such an embodied space. I was holding a lot of like shame and guilt because when I got into the season of depression, I was like, I just want to share what's happening to me in real time. Like, I just want to be able to like move through it with my community and like really allow them to be seen.

and that just was not possible. Like when I tell you I was depressed, was literally showering or eating was the biggest accomplishment for my day. I couldn't even imagine having to document it and like put the stressors around my own healing. So now I'm out of it. I want to talk about it. I want to unpack it and I feel like I have to do it now because I don't want to say that I've been procrastinating this.

But I've kind of been procrastinating this and already since I've been back, there's been so many shifts and so many changes. And I'm like, okay, girl, we just need to like get this episode out there. Let's talk about it because so much juiciness is still unfolding in your life right now. And we need different episodes because I'm going to keep this as short and sweet and impactful as possible. So, where do I start?

let's just say I had a conversation with another friend who's an entrepreneur and she is also in a season of depression right now and we were going back and forth on video audio messaging and she was just saying so much stuff and I was like my gosh I literally just went through this I literally just went through this I literally just went through this like I feel like you're literally right behind me like we were just on the same timeline as each other and that's why I just

I definitely want this episode to be something where you can just be really seen and validated and acknowledged within your own experience because on social media, I just feel like it doesn't get talked about. And then we get into our heads because we're constantly being projected and mirrored things and we're being activated and maybe even triggered by the online coaching space.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (04:46.788)
of all of these high cash months and people having all of the success and all of these different things and it's just, I think it's so overwhelming and you fall into like this capitalism and money and I just want this to be reminder to everybody that your health is more important than anything. That your health is the number one priority always. That it does not matter if you are getting into debt.

It doesn't like nothing externally matters, honestly, except for doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. Debt can be solved. You can make more money. Like trust me, honey, when you can work on your mental health and you can realign your energy and create from a place of source and pleasure again, like when you're making a hundred thousand plus cash months, that little bit of debt that you got into to really sustain and take care of yourself.

is not going to matter. If you are an entrepreneur and you need to go and get a job to help put you in a safe, energetic, nervous system state, because I also feel like there's like the stigma of like, if you get into entrepreneurship and you went all in and then you had to get a job, then you're a failure and da da da da da. It's like, no, babe, you are just taking care of yourself. Sometimes you've just got to do what you need to do and for you to have the courage and bravery to actually say, okay, I'm gonna go get a job.

so I can actually fuel my business even further is so freaking huge. So I just wanna lay it out that. Around four months ago, five months ago now, like, do y 'all remember it was like January, no, April, May, when we were having like the solar eclipses, that's kind of when all of these weird shifts started happening for me. And in the beginning, I was just like, I don't know, I just like.

this like weird energy and in my mind I was like it's fine like you know this too shall pass kind of vibes like I'm just gonna let I'm just gonna ride this motion for a little while and just like let it be and then it got louder and then it got louder and then I was like my gosh I don't know what to do in my business I had literally had so much success in my business so quickly I had just hit my highest cash month it was amazing

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (07:09.868)
And then I felt this like left -hand turn in my business and I was working with my business coach and I was like remapping, going back to the basics, trying to figure out why is this writer's block coming? I don't know what to create and it doesn't feel an integrity for me to just create, to create and just sell something like that. That does not feel good. Like I want to make sure I'm putting my heart into the world, not just a product. And I was like, I don't know. I don't know what's wrong. And

Since I've had depression for such a long portion of my life, my extreme of depression is thoughts of unaliving myself, thoughts of hurting myself, and I wasn't to that space yet. And then I was having a conversation with a friend and she was like, babe, but everything else you're describing to me, are you depressed? I think you're depressed. And I had to sit with that and I was like,

Ooh, I am, aren't I? My nervous system is in fight or flight. I am numbing constantly, like on my phone. I have days where I physically cannot get out of bed. The biggest accomplishment is showering or maybe even eating for the day. And even though I was in that space, I was like in this wobble of...

Okay, but I need to work and I need to create content and I need to do my podcast and I need to do all of these things. Like I can't be depressed. Like that's not math -ing for me, okay? I need to work, I need to produce, I need to do. And the more that I was in conflict with those two things, it seemed like that it got harder and harder and harder.

And I remember having so many conversations with so many of my friends about what I was feeling, what I was moving through. And it just got more confusing. And I remember going to, had an event in LA. My friend has an event called I Am Woman and she allows me to be a part of it, which I'm so grateful for. It's the most incredible, beautiful event.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (09:35.092)
It's bougie, we're in this huge mansion, and it's women coming together, we're breathing, we're talking about money, we're talking about self -love. It's just such a vibe. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna go to this event and it's gonna help my mental health. gonna like, I can just like feel something is gonna happen when I go there, like something is gonna be unlocked. I remember all of the girls, like long story short, all of the girls ended up speaking to the same psychic and the psychic was like, yeah, like something's happening.

And they didn't even like talk to the same psychic or they talked to the same psychic, but the psychic didn't know that the girls were talking about the same event. It was this whole like synchronicity weird kind of scenario. And then I was like, okay, yeah, like I knew I knew something's going to happen. And then I went to LA and I was with my best friend and you know, I was in a season of darkness. I just, I just didn't feel like my fully expressed self.

But I'm also a professional. Like I know how to protect my energy. I know how to show up when it matters. I know how to give my best. I just know how to turn it on. It's one of my gifts. And I remember just like seeing all of the women show up for her. She had women flying from out of state. She had just had a baby and she had women that were willing to come to the event and watch the baby so she could, know, press feed and pump and be with her baby and...

There were so many little instances of just these women showing up so deeply for her to love her, to nurture her, to pour into her. And I was being really activated. I was being really mirrored. My biggest wound that I've actively been nurturing and loving and healing, which is I am not lovable. I don't know how to give love. I don't know how to receive love. And I'm not worthy enough.

and I'm not enough. And I reflected that back to her after the event and the event was amazing. Like the feedback, the women were like, can you do this more often? I've never been in a space like this. This is incredible. And so the event was great, but I was telling her how I was feeling and she was like, I can't believe you just told me that. Like, thank you so much. That's courageous to be able to tell somebody that's how you're feeling.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (12:00.554)
And I was like, okay, like this is, this is why I came to LA. I was hoping it was gonna like fix my depression and I'd be like, good. But it was like, no, babe, I'm like opening up a wound because I need you to unlock and untap this. And I mean, there's like so many things that happen, right? I feel like that was probably one of the biggest propelled moments through this darkness because it was no longer like what's happening. I don't know, you know.

like what like universe what is happening like what the f bro and i was like this is it i thought i healed this and owning a business and creating from your soul it activates a lot of wounds especially ones that you're like i thought i fixed that i thought we you know i thought we did this already but i had so many things of like okay i had this really successful launch i want to do it again

But how do I do it in a way that feels better? Because it kind of feels like this competition internally of like, pick me, do you like me? How do I message it right? Like, how do I prove to people that like the transformations that I'm taking women through aren't completely coming out of my butt? how can I like, how can I compete with so many other people that are just...

talking about their high cash months that are literally editing their Stripe payment account so they are forged and look better than they are, that are making $500 ,000 cash months already that I feel like I'm competing and it's like this pick me energy. It's like, please like me, please like me, please like me. Am I good enough? Will you give me money? I promise you it's gonna be worth it. It's like, it was almost, it's like.

It's like that feeling in high school, you know, like I was bullied most of my life. And it's like, it's like that feeling of high school again, like, like me, how can I do more? How can I be better? And I was in my quantum CEO mastermind and that was the first time I've ever held space in a group setting for a long -term container. And there were just like mirrors happening to me through my clients. And some of them were valid that I needed to really like sit and reflect on.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (14:18.186)
And other ones, I think I was absorbing and they weren't even like my truth or my story. Because in the quantum CEO, if you've been in my world, you know that we go deep and we go deep because that's where the transformation happens and we play big. And so I was like absorbing, I think things I wasn't protecting my energy. I lead women through these huge transformations. I teach high achieving women that have been stuck in the wounded masculine for way too long how to like

sit back in the feminine and receive and play in their businesses and create from pleasure. Like all of these things that I have embodied and I now teach, I was all of a sudden operating my business though from not that space. I was like, okay, like I'm...

I'm staying up until four in the morning trying to get like slides done and and I'm almost wearing it and that's not the problem, right? Like the like if you're inspired if you're a night owl if that's like your time of like your zone of geniuses on and popping like good for you, but I was doing it as a as if it's like a badge of honor like if I work longer if I work more You know, I'll be worthy and I can I can prove to myself and I was like dude. This is not the vibe And it doesn't feel an integrity

integrity to me that I'm leading women through this journey and here I am on the back end not really embodied in what I'm teaching anymore. And so like I said, so many mirrors were happening, so much unpacking, so many layers. I was also still like processing grief from a friendship breakup. I was having other friendship things happening in my life that just were amplifying some of the internal stories that aren't serving me at all.

It was just like a melting pot of all of this stuff. And the storm became right and it all came crumbling down because I probably should have listened more to my body and everything else that was screaming at me. But of course, know, we're human. As much as I would love to live in the 5D, we have 3D experiences and we're just, we're just human. And after that I Am Woman event,

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (16:35.564)
You know, I kind of continued with my business coach and it got to a point where literally I still remember this. I was like devastated. I was like, okay, I'm going to go to this breath work session at my friend's coworking space. I love supporting my friends. know, I breath work is going to be amazing right now. I just need to be in community. I'm isolating. That was one thing too. I I'm learning how to not isolate. And instead, instead of isolating, finding solitude.

But I was definitely isolating and I was like, crap, okay. I'm gonna have the best day today. I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna go to the gym, I'm gonna go to her coworking space, and then I'm gonna go to the breathwork session afterwards and it's gonna be amazing. And then I got up and none of that happened. And then the guilt and the shame comes. So if I said I was gonna do these things and I didn't do it, and I even like things that you wanna do like a breathwork session.

And I remember it was like close to me having to leave and I finally mustered the strength to get into the shower. And I finally was like, okay, I to at least eat. It's been, it's literally four o 'clock in the afternoon. I have not eaten anything. And I remember putting the food in the microwave. And I remember just like,

I just remember like crumbling on the kitchen floor. This is making me emotional and sobbing.

because I was so full of pain. And I was like, what the actual F? Why is it that the only thing that I can do today, that my biggest goal today is that I fed myself? Ooh.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (18:26.71)
y 'all it was dark and to think that I've moved through it, it just makes me emotional. Plus my period is like happening today or tomorrow. So everything else just feels so heightened. And I just remember sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. And I went on the couch and I ate and I think I turned on the TV and I was like, it's fine. I'm not gonna do it. It's too much. I can't do this. And then my husband came home and then I was like,

I don't know, I have this unconscious conditioning from childhood and I unpacked this a lot too during this last season of darkness of me not doing, me not producing, me not being productive, me just literally bed rotting all day. I just couldn't, I wouldn't be loved and I would be in trouble and something would happen and my husband never did that. He never judged me, he never was like, what did you do today? He just never did that.

he came home and he was like, I wasn't expecting you to be home. I thought you were going to breath work today. And I just started sobbing, like completely sobbing. And he, I was just like, I don't know. Like I don't know what to do. I can't like, I can't like, I can't. And he just held me and loved me. And he was just telling me how okay everything was. And you know, he's like, it's okay that

Eating was your biggest thing for today. Like, I just love you. And he was, I can't remember, was it him? I think it was him. And he was like, I think you need to get help. He just doesn't want me to see me. He just doesn't want to see me that hurt, right? And he doesn't know how to fix it or help it or what to do. So I ended up finding a somatic therapist.

and who were the tissues and it was so convenient because she literally has so many things that I'm interested in. She was literally five minutes down the street and I chose the somatic therapist because I've done traditional like CBT talk therapy and it was beautiful for a season in my life. It was totally needed but I am very

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (20:49.558)
Like I can just like conceptualize a lot of things. Like I can overanalyze a lot of things. Like if we talk about my childhood, if we talk about patterns, I'm like, okay, I know this is happening because of this. This happened in my childhood and this is how it's being mirrored now. Like, it's almost like I know too much and to really have the next level of healing, I needed to get out of my head and into my body. And so she does more body somatic work, which is really interesting. Cause I was like, man, she's doing a lot of stuff with me that I do with my clients.

I was like, this is kind of actually really cool. But we unlayered and we unpacked a lot of stuff about like my childhood and mother wounds and all of these different things. So I got professional support and help and that was so freaking helpful. She also had me tap back into my creative side and she was like, I think you need to go to the art studio and get some art stuff. Like you said you like to paint. I think you need to do that again. So that's kind of what I did.

I'm telling you, just opening up and talking to people and taking the shame around your true experience, at least in front of community that can really see you and just validate you and your experiences is so freaking powerful. I never felt safe to be able to do that before. Like I am not hyper independent, know, emotional support has not always been something that I've received ever since childhood. So I just learned at a very young age to like,

You've got this, you're on your own. Like if anyone's going to protect you and have your back, it's you. And so being able to open up and start to talk to my friends and my husband about what's happening and get that support has been so life -changing. And I also started doing somatic breath work with one of my clients. She got her certification and she was like, this is all, this is everything that I do. It's somatic breath work. It's dealing with the nervous system.

And was like, okay. And she was like watching me breathe. And she's like, you tend to breathe from your chest, which indicates to me that you're probably in a survival, like a fight or flight state. Let's focus more of your breathing in your belly. And she was like, put a timer on for like every hour. What did she say? I think every hour and just remind yourself to breathe. didn't do the timer, but I was more conscious of my breathing. And I would even find myself like,

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (23:15.5)
I forgot what movie we were watching, but me and my husband went to the movies and I could like just feel this overwhelm kind of like happening in my body. And I was like, I think I've been holding my breath for a while. I do that a lot. I can literally hold my breath for a long time. And I started doing some deep belly breath and I was coming back into my body. I was coming back into the present. I was feeling like so much better and safe in my body. Same with the mall.

I would find myself almost like in this fight or flight state of like disassociation. There's like, for me, the mall, there's so much stimulation. There's so many different smells. There's too many people. It's just like a lot. And I would catch myself again, kind of like feeling these sensations in my body. And then I would go back to belly breathing and I'm like,

I feel grounded again. I feel like I'm in my body again. And so I did sessions with her. I became really conscious of my breathing and I remember when and I was reflecting on this like after I was kind of through the darkness I was getting ready and I was in the mirror getting ready in the morning and I was like, this is what they mean by surrender Like I've done that before and I know what it means, but sometimes sometimes again you like forget, you know

And I was like, that's when that's when things started to shift. Instead of me trying to be in this wobble of I have to work and I have to do and do, do, do, do, do. I need to allow myself to be. I need to just allow myself to move through the emotions. I just need to allow my body to sleep and rest because it is in fight or flight.

Constantly that is why I am so depressed and I'm I'm like stuck in these states. I just need to rest I I need to just Allow myself to have small wins. That's what my husband told me. He said small wins If eating is a small win today you succeeded showering today Is a small win then you succeeded if you were just able to get up and go to the gym today

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (25:25.364)
and stretch, that is a small win. So he kept telling me every single day, just small wins, just small wins. And it was that moment where I was like, okay, I can either focus on my mental health or I can focus on work. I'm not in a place where I can work. I have this writer's block anyway. I'm not going to just create to create. And I should take that back a little bit. I was still leading my women through the mastermind. I was still honoring my one -on -one clients.

And I was honestly conserving all of my energy to be able to really show up as my best in those containers. And

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (26:05.718)
I had this decision and I was like, I'm just going to have a soft girl summer. I'm just going to have a soft girl summer. I'm not going to think about work and I'm not going to lie. Like, of course I still had some of that toggle and wobble between of like, okay, well maybe I can get content and maybe I'll post something. And so it wasn't like I was full in, in that commitment, but it was enough for me to just begin to recalibrate and take off the pressure.

of having to do everything. And I was like, I need to date myself again. I need to just love myself and pour into myself and do things that I've never done before. For example, I've never gone hiking on my own ever. And I had my first hiking experience solo. I was going to the park and packing a picnic bag and my blanket and pillows and reading a book and just

just romanticizing my life again. Like so many of these core principles that I had lost, like girl, we need to bring it back down to the basics. And then when it came to my business, when I got to a space to come back to my business, I was like, what is the number one thing we always start with? Our values. How do we ground back into the values of the business and start pivoting so we can start aligning with these values again within our business? And then I got into a space with my

husband where he was like, okay, I want you to take as much time as you need. And I just need to vocalize that I also am worried that if you take too much time, then it's going to be too hard for you to come back. And I don't want that to happen. So what can we do to help help you come back? And I was like, okay, well, I've been feeling better. One of my biggest triggers is the house. working from home.

all the time, that was rough for me. I feel like I got my dose of 2020 when COVID happened. I was an essential worker. So I still kind of like had a schedule and went to work. I never just like worked from home all day. And then I started entrepreneurship and that's what I started doing. And then I was like, okay, there's no separation between my home and work. There's no boundaries that are clear for me. And being in the house, it's almost just like,

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (28:30.28)
It's activating habits within me that are making me not feel my best. And it's not inspiring me to work. So he was like, I was like, okay, well, I've been sitting with this thought and it's been something that I've been talking about in my mind for two months and I haven't taken the aligned action on it. But I think I need to take like get a coworking space. And so I got a coworking space, I had to change my environment. And then

I had the retreat for the mastermind. And this is where mushroom trips and second eggplant come into play. So we had the retreat and it was in the most beautiful mansion. it was in the mountains. We were literally backed up to a 14er, the trees, the expansiveness of the space, like

It was amazing. I also had one of my girlfriends come and help support me during that. She knew what was happening in my mental health and she was just there to be this backbone for me. I love you so much, girl. If you're listening to this, shout out to you. And so I had all of this love and support, right? Because when I moved through that, like, I am woman event about the love, I was like, no, I to sit and reflect. That's an old story. That's an old version of me. That was an old truth.

But like, I now have support. I have people that wanna show up for me. I have people that love me. I have people that care for me. Even like my chef for the retreat, she like basically backed out without even telling me. Like a month before the retreat and it was so hard to find a new chef in the middle of wedding season in the mountains. it was...

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (30:24.684)
Honestly, it wasn't even that big of a deal. Like it was, like internally I was like, ma 'am, have, I was just crying on the kitchen floor. Like nothing right now can really faze me unless it's something really important. So I finally found a new avenue. had a chef show up for me huge and I had put it on my Instagram. was like, my gosh, okay, but I'm not gonna have a personal chef there. need someone to come and like take care of the food and make sure you cook it.

like warm it up and serve it and help clean and do all of the things. And I put it on my Instagram because I was like, I have no one to ask. I have no one that's going to show up for me. My husband, I was like, my husband, can you take off work? He was like, I'll do that. Like, let me know. And I was like, crap, what is going to happen? And I remember putting it on my Instagram of like, hey, I need someone to help who wants to come to the retreat. And I have so many DMS, so many people messaging me. And I was like literally crying.

at the outpour of help and support that people were wanting to provide in my life. It was just so magical. And then I get into the retreat house and my retreat girls had kind of like known what I was moving through, but I wasn't like super open and transparent because I had this internal fear. I was afraid that if I told them that my mental health was struggling, that it would devalue.

my leadership ability that it would take me away from this authoritative space and it would just, it would make me look bad. And I was sharing with the girls and they were like, what are you talking about? The fact that you are even sharing this with us and letting us know this makes me so inspired that I am in your container because I am working with somebody that is a honest, transparent, and brave enough to say something. And also that you are actually moving through this.

You're not just allowing it to be like you are actually moving through the season. That's showing me the utmost leadership. And I had a friend remind me that that thought process I had is so rooted in like colonialism and patriarchy. And there's like this hierarchy. And she's like, dude, that is not the vibe. That is not how you lead. And I'm like,

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (32:44.266)
my gosh, you're absolutely right. And then I started telling them about my biggest wound, about not being loved. And they ended the retreat like all hugging me and I was just sobbing. Like it was so beautiful. Like I got so much out of that. All of the women got so much out of it. I won't even go into the details. I should have had an episode about the retreat because the transformations were wild. We still get on calls and we're like, dude, what happened?

I can't unpack it with strangers and it's hard to unpack it with someone that was there. that was, that was an experience that will never ever leave my mind because nobody's the same. It was so amazing. And one of the women that that was in my mastermind at the retreat, we were pulling out, like she was like in the spiritual closet. And when I tell y 'all this woman, this woman has been given the

biggest gift from God. She is able to connect to your guides, your angels. She is able to see you in ways that are just, she had women at the retreat crying and you know, this was like her space to kind of just allow herself to be fully expressed. She was like, I'm not going to hide anymore. I'm just going to trust, trust myself. I'm in a container where it will be received. I'm going to build some

safety within my nervous system because I have the right community to do this with right now. And I just like let her shine. I was like, I want all of you here. And so she did a reading for me. And I'm laughing right now because I just went to Brathburg yesterday actually to celebrate her birthday. And I had another reading there from a different tarot reader and she like said the exact same thing. So I'm just like laughing right now. But I have had

I've had like this argument with my guides forever because I'm like, I want to hear you. Like, I swear, like the way that I see her and her gifts and the way that she receives messages and it's so loud and it's so clear and it's so vibrant and she's so connected. I'm like, that's what I want. I want my guides to talk to me. Like, I want to hear y 'all, you know? And I was like, where are they? Where the? How they been? Well, I've been in the season, bro. Like.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (35:13.312)
going on?" And she was like, okay, first of all, they're always talking to you. Literally, you're just not listening to them. And you expect it to be like this glass of water in front of me, you expect them to talk to you, like, here's the glass of water, it's filled, you know, three fourths of the way up. It's clear, like, that's how you want them to talk to you. And that's not how they talk to you. It's not that black and white. So you just need to open your eyes. And I was like, okay, well, I've been told

I've been told I need to do some work around my sensuality and healing some of the sexual traumas. And, you I've been on this journey of like reconnecting to my body. You know, everyone knows that I just, I just love tapping into the feminine and there's so many different layers to that. And I've been doing things and I had another healer tell me that I was supposed to do like mirror work with my kitty.

And I was like, but I don't understand what that means. And I try to Google like a place to go do that. And it's not the easiest thing to Google. So I was like, help, like help me. I don't, I don't know what my guys are telling me. Like that is something that just is not clear. And so she was like, okay, they're telling me that when you tap deeper into the power of your femininity and your sensuality, your business is going to unlock and explode to a whole new level.

Like you're in this like weird space of I don't know what to create and I don't know what to do. And I have creators writing block and you know, nothing is coming through to me. I'm not getting anything. It's just like cut off. She was like, when you start tapping into that, you are going to unlock something. Like you are already so connected to your feminine. Like you are already such a mirror for other women to be more connected to their feminine in all aspects.

And so when you do this work, it's going to unlock something. And I'm like, give me, give me, okay, give me all the things. I want all the things. And so she was like, I want you to go home and I want you to use pink roses. And I want you to look in the mirror, fully undressed, looking at your kitty, looking at yourself, looking at your body. And I want you to take this rose and I want you to lightly just like move it on your body.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (37:34.826)
and allow and picture any of the energy that's no longer serving you literally being like swept out of your body. And so of course I did that when I got home. Of course I did that. And then, and she starts laughing and I'm like, what? And she's like, I've never had to say this before ever. Okay. I can't believe I'm saying this, but your guides are saying that you need to tap into

I think she said like more, what is it called? Fallaccio I think is like the, I was just, I was just reading Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades of Grey, which by the way, while I was in that darkness, I read like nine books. Fifty Shades of Grey was one of them, not my favorite book. We'll get into that. And it talks about, I think it's fallaccio is the appropriate term. I don't know what I'm allowed to say on my podcast or not. So fallaccio.

And I was like, wait, what for like me or for like him? And she's like, no, no, no, you were supposed to do it for him. And I was like, And I sat with that and I was like, it makes so much sense though. Like again, she's not telling me anything new, right? She's already telling me things that I like knew. It's just now she's being that mirror and I'm like, how is this stranger? Well, she's not a stranger, but like she doesn't know these certain parts of me. Now here she is saying this specifically to me and it's.

Literally just like girl see your guides were talking to you. You just weren't listening but I have been obsessed lately with learning about BDSM and and kink culture but like the principles of it and the beauty of the artistry of it and the power of dominant Dom being a Dom and being a sub and like how that applies to business how that applies to your life and

I've been on this journey of re -exploring my own body, taking back the sovereignty of my own body for so long, especially I think surviving through different sexual assaults. And honestly, just never having education about your body, about how sacred your body is, about the temple that your body is, about how powerful you are as women, about what...

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (40:00.8)
life looked like before Christ and how there has been this shift in culture from like, goddesses and the divine feminine into like, the patriarchy and, and it's multifaceted. Again, this is probably a different podcast episode, but I've been like obsessed with this world and learning so much about this world over the last couple of years and

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (40:27.604)
Me doing that for my husband is really just me taking back my own power, me taking back my own sensuality, me taking back my own pleasure. Like it's just so multifaceted and she's like, if you want the next level of your business, I need you to do that more. And of course my husband is like, I volunteer as tribute. I love when you go to these types of events. They are so amazing.

So that is honestly one of the biggest tipping icebergs for me was to be able to get that message and actually have like actionable steps to kind of move forward after like really unpacking and processing a lot of the shadows and the deep work with like my therapist and doing the own internal shadow works and sitting in the pain and just now it went from like be in the shadow, be in the darkness into I see the light. How do I get there?

And then the other part was when I got back from the retreat, I had created honestly, something so potent, so freaking big, so freaking transformational. The feedback from the girls, seeing the transformations from each of the girls, all of it, seeing the sisterhood and the bonds and the... It was indescribable, honestly. And sometimes as a business owner, it's hard for me to sometimes market.

and sell quote unquote, like all of these things, because I'm like, it's so freaking sacred what happens in my spaces that I don't want to talk about it. And I don't want to like share these things because I want that to be a sacred space for my community. And I also to admit, like, since nothing ever felt like enough, and I didn't feel good enough, nothing I did ever felt like it was enough. So why would I celebrate and share that because it could be better, it could be more. And

I took like a week to really integrate and I was like, okay, I want to integrate. But I noticed that there was like this disconnect between integration and actually embodying. It's almost like I, I, I wasn't really allowing myself to feel what had happened. And so I had this bright idea and I was like, okay, I'm going to eat nine pieces of chocolate and I'm going to go on a little like journey.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (42:51.268)
and I'm hoping that this is going to be a big enough of like a hero dose where I have like some sort of spiritual awakening. I don't know, but like I literally, nine pieces of chocolate is a lot. So I went to the store and I got my gluten -free graham crackers and marshmallows and I made s'mores one day and I was like, you know what? I'm going to go on a big journey today. So I sat in ceremony with the chocolate and the mushrooms and the medicine. I set my intentions.

And I've never taken nine chocolates before. If you've listened to my other podcast episode, I talk about microdosing. I've had some journeys now and now I've had a really big journey. And I wasn't sure what's going to happen. So I ate the nine chocolates. I'm like waiting for them to like hit and they finally did. And I'm like listening to music. Odessa is like one of my favorite things to listen to while I'm on a journey. And then it became too much.

And I was like, okay, I feel like I just need to like be in silence. And all of these downloads started to come through. was like, y 'all, when I tell you, I eat these non -chocolates and I was in the quiet. I could hear the quiet. And if you've ever done mushrooms, you know what I'm talking about. But literally I could hear the silence. And my internal thoughts were so loud and it almost felt like I like to keep my space.

It's almost like I like to be uncomfortable. like to, I like to make it harder than it needs to be. I like to almost self punish myself as opposed to just like leading with so much love. And so I don't honestly, I don't know how many hours it was because eating nine mushrooms, I think the entire journey was like eight hours. I got through that kind of moment of

more of the processing and unpacking. My husband came home, he began to take care of me. He was like, man, this girl is messed up. He took care of me. And then it became more fun. And then I tapped into like this energy and frequency of like playful, like Kelly, who is just fun and wild and dancing and twerking and laughing and joyful and not reserved and just her fully expressed self. And

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (45:16.67)
It was so magical because I was able to reflect on what happened at the retreat, what happened in the last six months with my quantum CEO, Mastermind Girls. And I was finally able to like feel the potency and feel the immense amount of gratitude, even for my husband. Like my husband even just taking care of me and treating me like a queen and a princess and, you know, just like helping me and feeding me and making sure I had, I had the peach. It was so good. Just.

all of the ways that he was showing up and loving me, I could feel it. That's why I love plant medicine, because it helps me feel. Like sometimes I think about feeling or I can feel it, but I'm not really feeling it. It just let me feel those things so deeply. And I don't know what it is about being on mushrooms, but every time I'm on mushrooms, I just feel so connected to my divine femininity.

Like I will go in the mirror and just look at myself and I'll look at my body and I'm like, this is why my husband is obsessed with me because girl, we are a goddess. Like we are a gift from God. We are just divine and sexy and beautiful and womanly. Like I'm turning myself on looking at me. no wonder my husband is obsessed.

But I finally get to like feel and see that when I'm able to use plant medicine. And it was just like a whole vibe. It was a whole vibe. I won't even get into more details. My husband's like, why do you always have to say everything? So I won't even get into the details of everything, but it was so much fun. It was so good. Literally after that, I felt like this switched my body too. It was like, okay, hang on. Things are different now.

I feel more like myself again. It's like it reconnected me back to my truth and it stayed with me. I actually need to do another journey. I was feeling that the other day. The problem, which I think I found a solution to, so I'm curious to try it. When I have bigger journeys, I am unable to do anything the next day because I have the biggest migraine. I literally can't even get out of bed. It is so bad.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (47:33.984)
and I was talking to my therapist about it and she said a lot of, because she does psilocybin sessions, and she said that it's the research that's coming out right now, it's actually very common for women to get headaches after journeys than men. Men can get them too, but it's more common in women. And they've noticed that women with bigger traumas tend to have that as a symptom.

And she went into the science of everything and I was like, okay, all of that makes sense. I don't remember it now. That's why I should have recorded this podcast episode earlier, but it's okay. And so I was talking to another friend about it and she said, if I do lion's mane, what was the other thing? I'll have to ask her, but she was like, there's some supplements you can take with it and it might help. So I kind of get like weary of doing it. I love doing it they're so powerful, but again, I'm in a lot of pain the next day. So.

I'll probably have another episode soon. I need to do it. I feel like I need to revamp a refresh because honestly from when that happened in like June till now so much has changed and to kind of like wrap this up of where I'm going is I jump back into work. Like June I found the light and I was like I'm going back to my baby. Where's my business? I have this no courting space. Like yes girl we are we are here.

I may have jumped back a little bit too quickly. Not to say that I'm not excited to be in my business again, but it was almost like zero to 100, which is something that I consciously have to work on. And I did make small shifts. Like I could notice myself getting in hyper masculine. I could notice myself getting more frustrated. I would set a timer on my phone for every hour to get up for 10 minutes and have a little bit of a break and.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (49:25.772)
I found myself in moments of flow. Like literally the membership is birthed and born, which is, it's already popping off in there. I'm just like, my gosh, people are already just like engaging and, and we've had book club in the, in the membership and all of the girls are, are already like, I wasn't even going to come today. I was just in a mood. And then I said yes to myself and it was the most nourishing conversation and

and we had hot seat coaching and people are being open and expanded in their businesses. Like one of the girls, she's like, I wish I had my phone so could read it, but she's like, so many things are popping off in our business right now. And we're gonna have our first like activation next week. We had an AA portal manifestation, money manifestation day. And then we have the 30 day money manifestation challenge happening right now that you are able to purchase if you want to.

literally so good already. It's been like four days, five days. And the things that are coming through for the women and we haven't even gotten really into like the depths of the challenge yet. So expansive, so healing. Women are already just like, ugh, like, it's just so good. So there has been amazing juiciness that's happened in my business. But again, I almost like found myself, it's like the universe was like expanding me. They're like, okay.

You said you got the lessons. You said you're gonna change. We shifted the identity. We know what needed to be pivoted. Are you actually gonna do it? And I was, but I found myself again slowly staying at the office until 10, 11, et cetera. Staying there when I'm not even inspired anymore. Just staying there being frustrated instead of just going home and watching Big Bang Theory.

Right now that is my new vice. I'm obsessed with Big Bang Theory. I had never watched it. And now I think it's like the funniest show on the planet. It's like, we said we were going to have more harmony in your business. You were only going to stay if you're really in flow and lit up. You're feeling frustrated. Why are we still here? You're hungry. You're not eating again. And so I sat with this the other day and I got this download and I was like, okay, I spent the last three months surviving.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (51:48.3)
like literally in survival mode. And I jumped back into my business and a lot of those patterns and habits came back because it's natural, right? My business is obviously a cue and trigger for me to like go back into some of these habits. And I was like, what if I spend the next three months thriving and truly embodying what I teach my women and not being focused on the money, not being focused on creating.

just being focused on playing with your messaging, bringing it back to the basics, which is just having solid connections and community, community first. And if something comes from that, sure. I mean, I have two things that I'm playing with right now. It's a money program and then also how to have a five figure launch. So like, I already kind of know.

but letting it happen organically instead of like, but I want to create this and I need to create this and you know, it's gonna be so good and I wanna like do it and I can make money. And I have to say this too. I say this with a level of privilege because I know that for most people they can't just like step away from their business and be like, I'm good. Like, me just play and thrive in my business until the end of the year and not have to worry about money. And this is also why.

I teach the things that I teach. I'm able to step away from my business for an entire year because I have set myself up to be able to do so. And with that being said, I had to heal a lot of my money, stories and wounds to be able to even see that much money in my account and say I'm worthy of stepping away and I don't need to make more. I have enough security and safety.

because if you know my money story, I used to hoard money. And this is also why I'm so passionate about helping women create wealth in their businesses. How do we get your business to make lots of money? But more importantly, how do we convert that money into wealth so then your money is making money? How do we start creating your ecosystem within your business so then you have money coming in every single month?

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (54:09.162)
this is exactly why I do what I do. So when you are in a season of this and you're like, you know what, I have a crater's block and instead of allowing it to go into depression, I'm gonna take a break and I'm gonna play and I'm gonna explore and I'm gonna create and I'm just gonna like create from joy and passion instead of like, need to, I need something.

is by being able to have a healthy relationship with money and setting up your business in a structure so it is created around your lifestyle, not the other way around. And the beauty of what's happened when I came back is all of these opportunities have dropped in my lap and all of a sudden my DMs are popping off again and people are wanting to connect and meet and want me to be on their podcast and all of these different things. So I wanted to keep this short.

It ended up being long. I love you all so much for listening. There is a really cool feature on the, in the show notes. You can text me, text me questions, text me questions about honestly anything and I will answer them on a podcast episode. I'm really excited. I got my first one and I was like, I'm getting a message. So send me a text. I would love to hear from you. I want to know what you want from this podcast. Again, I want to answer questions for you.

And then if you could leave a five star review, I would love you so much. Please do that. It just helps like get this to more people. If you have a girlfriend that is like moving through a season and she is in her business, please send this to her. Be like, sis, babe, like you have to listen to this. Kelly literally is going through the same thing right now and she wants you to feel seen and she wants you to know that there's something at the end of the tunnel. I would appreciate you. I love you guys so much.

and I will put the link in the show notes as well but I do have the membership. It is so juicy, so good, it really is meant for the entrepreneurial woman that is here to break down patriarchal systems. They're so over the coaching industry and all of the you should do this and you should do that and this is my five -step process and it's it's created to bring back the sovereignty back to you.

S2 E1 Trips And Dicks (56:24.716)
So you can start leading and creating from your heart and soul and trusting your intuition while you create. And it's a place where I want your network to help your net worth. There's a portion in the community where you can talk about your offers. I want these to be your solo line clients and be able to cross pollinate businesses. I feel like other memberships that are just kind of gatekeep either. Like you're in MySpace and it's MySpace only. No.

This is for y 'all. I want you to meet new people. I want you to get business from this. I want you to get the love and support that you need from me, from other people. What else is in it? my goodness, the book club. We're reading. What are we reading right now? Today, this month is a money theme. So we are doing, you are a badass at making money. I'm one chapter in right now. It's so good. I'm like, she's speaking all of my love languages. I can't wait for her to just like teach me and also like ground me into like, yes, girl, you are

living your divine purpose right now. What else is in it? You can host things if you're wanting to walk your edge, host something within the platform. Literally, there's so much. So I would love to see you in that. There is a link in the in the show notes. And then of course, I still have one on one coaching. I still have like I'm still obviously working and like growing my business. I'm just doing it in a very new and fresh way. And I'll have more podcast episodes around like what I'm doing in that.

So I still have my business. I'm just taking the pressure off, you know? Like if you wanna work with me, I'm here for it. If you wanna completely change your life, I'm here for it. If you want to like have your business explode, I'm here for it. It's like, if you wanna like reclaim your sovereignty when it comes to money, I'm here for it. So I love you all. I'll see you next week. And yeah, I love you. Thank you.