Lack of Representation in The Wellness Community and How to Change it With Dee Franklin

Dive into a transformative conversation with Dee Franklin who empowers women to cultivate self-love, unlock their inner potential, and manifest their dreams. We dive into why diversity, inclusion, and personal growth are so important in the wellness space. Kelly and Dee share experiences of otherness and discuss the emotional impact of highlighting differences and privilege. Topics include addressing colorism, lack of representation, and the need for education and bias unlearning. 

Discover actionable steps to bridge gaps and create welcoming spaces for marginalized groups. Embrace discomfort, stand in your truth, and foster understanding. Join us in creating inclusive spaces and leading with love for positive change.

Takeaways

• Representation and inclusivity are crucial in personal development, healing, and spirituality spaces.
• Colorism and racism exist within marginalized communities and contribute to the lack of representation.
• Unlearning biases and systemic racism requires education, research, and self-reflection.
• Creating safe spaces for marginalized groups involves actively seeking out diverse voices and collaborating with creators from different backgrounds. Create comfortable spaces for marginalized communities to feel seen, heard, and acknowledged.
• Independent spaces are important for self-development and allowing marginalized groups to fully relate to and support one another.
• Stand in your truth and embrace discomfort to foster personal growth and understanding.
• Educate yourself about systemic oppression and the experiences of marginalized communities to create inclusive spaces and foster change.

Chapters

00:00
Introduction

02:20
The Importance of Diversity and Inclusion

03:43
The Emotional Exercise at Follow Your Magic Retreat

05:11
Personal Experiences of Otherness

09:25
The Impact of Colorism

11:22
Representation and Inclusivity in Wellness Spaces

13:16
Expanding the Definition of Marginalized Groups

14:06
The Lack of Representation in Influencer Communities

15:02
The Need for Representation in Corporate Settings

20:24
Colorism and Racism within Marginalized Communities

21:38
The Importance of Education and Research

23:33
Denying Blackness and Internalized Racism

26:24
Unlearning Biases and Systemic Racism

28:12
The Ongoing Cycle of Diversity and Inclusion

31:10
Creating Safe Spaces for Marginalized Groups

33:36
Taking Action to Bridge the Gap

36:23
Creating Comfortable Spaces

38:16
Importance of Independent Spaces

39:01
Standing in Your Truth

39:28
Embracing Discomfort

40:24
Communicating with Women of Color

41:22
Navigating Uncomfortable Conversations

44:54
Creating Inclusive Spaces

48:59
The Vision for the Future

53:44
Taking Action and Creating Change

56:38
Educating Yourself

57:27
Creating Scholarship Opportunities

01:03:00
Giving Back and Creating Equity

01:07:00
The Ripple Effect of Change

01:08:26
Leading with

Transcript

Kelly Noble (00:20.398)
Here it is. Ready? Yeah, you know.

Kelly Noble (00:32.238)
recording in progress. Bye. Yay. Okay. I'm so excited. Welcome to the Manifest That Shift podcast. We have the most incredible self -love coach. Her name is Dee Franklin, and we are going to dive into diversity inclusion.

in the personal development, the healing, the spirituality space because I have so many conversations with women that are creating these beautiful spaces and they want to have more diversity within those groups and they don't seem to be attracting it. And on the flip side, there are women of color like us that want to go to more spaces and the representation is not there. So it makes us feel a little hesitant and actually wanting to be in those spaces.

because it is something so important to us. So I'm gonna let Dee just introduce herself for a second and get you all gassed up because she is amazing. And we're gonna hop into one of the most expansive conversations you may be hearing all year. So Dee, take the lead. Hello everyone. I'm so, so, so excited to be here. Kelly, thank you so much for having me. This has been a conversation I've been looking forward to having for a while.

Again, my name is Dee. I am a self -love mindset and manifestation coach and I just really want to empower women to embody their highest selves and create the life of their dreams live in their purpose and Find the magic that's within them. I Love every second of that because we all have the magic within it's just allowing it to outpour So everyone else can see that beautiful light Let's talk a little bit about how this conversation kind of got started

Because for me, literally my soul's purpose is to help elevate the consciousness of the collective and I see doing that with creating more equity in the world. So when I had the Follow Your Magic retreat, when I was collaborating with all these women, in my heart I had to have a section within this retreat that focused on diversity and inclusion and having the hard conversations around differences, around race.

Kelly Noble (02:47.926)
otherness, whether that is your sexual identity, being a part of the LGBTQ plus community, living with disability, anything that makes us othered. And so we did this really powerful exercise. I had no idea it was going to be as emotionally charging as it was, but it was literally such an important moment in that retreat. I think it really bonded people together. It opened conversations that,

normally would not be had. Curiosity was the foundation of everything, of learning, of growing. And I guess I'll just explain the exercise a little bit so people that are listening can kind of have an idea. Essentially what we did is we went outside in the backyard with all of the beautiful Sedona Mountain views. And we lined everyone up and I asked a series of questions. Everyone was holding each other's hand.

And at first I started asking questions that I knew would be very common for people because we all have a lot of pain, a lot of shared emotions and feelings. And we were taking a step forward every time we felt called to whatever was being said, if it was a lived experience. And in the beginning we were all stepping forward. And then I started introducing more questions that are catered to race,

that are catered to essentially being a part of a marginalized group. And that's where we started seeing people falling back, people continuously moving forward, people moving forward that were in the back, and it kind of did this really beautiful fluctuating change. But at the end, we could see people were struggling to hold each other's hand because we were all in different areas. And it was a representation to really be able to see and acknowledge our privileges, our truth

and to see our sisters around us and see where they had certain privileges and others didn't. So D, I kind of want you to take over because I know it was really emotional for you to kind of explain what was happening during that exercise. It's funny because in the beginning I was just like so excited about this exercise that we did and as you started to ask those questions that cater to marginalized communities, I started noticing myself.

Kelly Noble (05:11.214)
falling towards the back of the line. And at the very end, I was practically against the wall and everyone else was, if not a couple steps ahead of me, several steps ahead of me. And it was in that moment that I've truly felt how much society caters to a population that isn't me. And it was...

it resonated so deeply and I just became overwhelmed with emotion because here's the thing, I grew up in an affluent community or an affluent neighborhood where I was the minority. I was always reminded that I was the minority. It's because I looked different, my skin color was darker, my hair was textured in a different way. We didn't have the nicest things in comparison to the other children in the neighborhood, but I also, while I didn't feel like I quite belonged within that community, I also didn't feel like I

along within my own black community where my family members might have been darker complected than I was, or we had a little bit more money than other family members, or certain friends just didn't have the same type of vocabulary or linguistics that I had, and I was ostracized because of that. So I have always been very aware that I am not Caucasian, and I am not fully 100 % recognized as a black woman, which can be very frustrating. And...

That day was such an insightful day for me because it was a reminder of how easy it is to get, not complacent, but almost kind of forget that because I try not, I'm so sorry. I try not to, we're feeling very passionate about this subject. I try not to think about it too much and.

because it does affect me to some extent and it does it does stir emotions in me because naturally I'm taught to work harder because I'm black. I'm taught that I need to stand out a little bit more and I need to be better because I'm black because at the end of the day if you put me in a lineup of job applications with your Sarah's and your Tiffany's they're more likely to get that call than I am.

Kelly Noble (07:35.086)
And that was something that I was taught and ingrained in my mind from a very young age. And in that moment, that was something that I could see in front of me visually. And I think seeing it in that way is what impacted me so profoundly. Yeah, absolutely, Dee. When you talk about that, it just mirrors to me my own lived experience as well, being a woman of color and being biracial.

I was never white enough for the white children because I visibly don't look white and yet I'm not Asian enough for the Asian children because I'm, they can see that I'm not fully Asian as well. I just look different to them. And my mom growing up being a woman that came from Korea, English was her second language, trying to assimilate and be a part of the American culture.

Growing up, she never wanted us to learn Korean, to really be engulfed in the culture because she wanted us to be as quote unquote, American as possible so we could fit in. She didn't want us to feel othered. And while her intention was pure and beautiful, it completely outcasted me from Korean culture because I don't speak the language and it's very looked down upon. And yet in the eyes of...

you know, the Sarahs and the Tiffany's that are blonde haired and blue dyed, I was always different and I was teased for being different. And in the Asian culture, it's also very indoctrinated in you that you have to work hard, that you have to succeed, that you have to, you know, be the best always. And so you always have this underlying tone of like, I have to prove myself. I have to be more. Exactly. Which when we get in the healing space,

and we reconnect to our souls, we don't have to be anything besides ourselves and our authentic truth and that is where our power comes from. It's not from making more money, getting the higher job, doing all of those things. That can be a result of us being embodied in who we are, but those aren't the things that define us. I know, and even with the last conversation we had on your live, I even realized remnants of the...

Kelly Noble (09:54.266)
systematic oppression and fear of being seen for who I am was still within me. And it was when we got off that life, we had a conversation and it's like, I grew up a proud Haitian woman. Like I speak the language, I cook the food, I can read and write in my language. But like you said, it was not like that place of not being sure quite where you fit in because of both sides kind of making you feel othered where,

I still realize that I was struggling with that because within the wellness community, there is a lack of representation of black women. And because I come from a black family, I'm a black woman, I'm from the black community, I don't get looked at the same as other black women due to colorism, which is so frustrating. And that conversation, when I left with you, I was like sitting there thinking to myself, I was like, geez, I'm still trying to prove myself that I'm good enough.

to be in a space instead of just owning the space that I am which is a black proud black woman and I want to cater to black woman and I need to own it and speak upon it so that's why I'm just so happy that you brought that up so happy that I'm sitting here now and having this conversation with you so thank you yeah absolutely I think it's it's such an important topic to have and you know if you don't know what colorism is at a very high level within

Communities because it's in the Asian community. It's in the black community. It's in a lot of communities essentially colorism is the darker your skin is The less desirable it is the lighter your skin is the more desirable it is and then there becomes a lot of friction between The people within that community that are darker and lighter and there's there's there's its own stigma and anger and underlying tone within different color tones because

white supremacy has fooled us all into believing that the standard of beauty is whiteness. And you see this in Asian cultures as well. You see this with, you know, even in Korea, if you're darker skinned, they use skin products to make their skin lighter because that's beautiful. In other countries like Thailand, where their skin is naturally a little bit darker, they also don't want to be darker because darker - Oh, we have that too. We have lightening soaps in my culture to lighten your skin, which is -

Kelly Noble (12:20.782)
It blows my mind. Which is wild because white women all day pay to tan. But that goes back to the systems of oppression, right? It's beautiful for a white woman to do it, but if a woman of color already has that, it's not good enough. It's used against them. And I want to highlight if through any of these conversations that you're being activated, you probably need to listen to this again.

And if you are being activated, there's probably a lot of research that you need to be doing to fully understand what is happening within these cultures because it can be very easy for people that are not living in these same marginalized groups to fully understand it. So it's a very powerful thing for you to do some research and really like tap into why is this conversation activating for you. So I'm gonna highlight that. So when we're talking about...

representation right I just had this conversation the other day with a friend you know she's she wants her business and her space to be filled with more women of color more diverse groups and when we say marginalized I also want to pinpoint I think we're going to talk a lot specifically about race which is also a construct which I hate the word race

But we're also talking about, you know, because I see Missing in the Space size representation of women that are of all different sizes and shapes. People that are part of the LGBTQ plus community, people that are living with disability. This is anything outside of the societal, quote unquote, norms of what beauty has been interpreted as. Because when you do look at Instagram, you look at all of the women that have a lot of...

Followers that are leading the space. They usually are able -bodied thin cis white Women they just are and when you look at the conferences when you look at the retreats when you look at all of the programs when you look at their communities They are usually mirroring very similar to what they look like exactly and diversity and representation is so important because

Kelly Noble (14:36.802)
We need to see other women that look like us. I don't know about you Dee, but like for me, I remember my first like big corporate job. I was so excited. I went to the very first meeting. It was like day two of working for the company and it had all of the sales people, all of the project managers, basically all of the top people that were like on the ground making the company happen. And I walked in.

and I looked to the left and I looked to the right and I was like, am I the only person of color? Everybody is white. Like so much so to the extent that like I think I'm the only person even with like dark hair. The men were white, the women were white and that was all that I saw.

And as a person of color, it's just something that you notice. So when you see all of these other people that don't look like you, you immediately are like, am I going to be judged? Are they going to understand me? Do they know my culture? Do they know anything about me? Or do I have to completely assimilate and code switch into their culture so I can survive? Oh, girl, you are pretty.

To the choir I worked at a very well -known hospital for a total of almost 11 years in the same department for the entire 11 years and The entire time that I worked there I was the only the one and only nurse in that department that was a black woman Okay Not till my very last like maybe six months. I started to see some more women of color like we had

one Latina woman, we had a few Asian, women of Asian descent, but it was the only black nurse, 11 years, over a decade in that department. And I remember during the pandemic when all of that stuff was happening, I remember feeling a certain type of way about it and not being able to talk about it with anyone.

Kelly Noble (16:40.366)
Like we would be in the break rooms talking about all the celebrity gossip, but during that time, nobody wanted to talk about George Floyd. Nobody wanted to talk about the black rights movement that was happening. And it was just so frustrating to me to be in this space where nobody looked like me. And to top it off, I will never forget this. There was this one nurse who I considered a leader in the department and...

I started there as a secretary, moved my way up to a nurse assistant, and then became a nurse. The story behind my evolution there in that department was I did not take the traditional route. I did not go to an Ivy League university where I graduated, did my internship in the hospital in that department, and then got offered a job. I started from the very bottom and worked my way up. When I was able to sit for my NCLEX, I didn't have a bachelor's. I had an associate's degree of nursing, but you can still work.

as a nurse with an associate's degree in nursing, you still pass the NCLEX board. But major hospitals typically don't hire in Massachusetts without a bachelor's degree, a baccalaureate background. And I remember my nurse manager was a mentor of mine and she was like, I'm gonna work with you, we're gonna figure it out, we're gonna get you a job. And when I did get the, or before I got the job, I was going through the interview process. I went to this nurse who I thought was a leader and I was asking her for advice on how I could make myself more marketable.

to secure a position as a nurse in the NICU. And this woman looks at me and goes, she goes, oh honey, we only hire students that went to X University and did their internship here. You would be better suited to go work at the clinic and get experience there. And I was like, why? Mind you, when you go to the clinic, you see what nurses are working in the clinic. The majority of them are black women.

Another time when I did finally get the job, I heard another nurse leader say the only reason she got that job was to fill a quota. That was the only reason I got the job. Not my skill set, not the fact that I passed my nursing boards and have a nursing license and know all the same information that you know, but it was just to fill a quota. Insulting. Like if you guys could see my face right now, it is just like, I can't even, but it's.

Kelly Noble (19:02.478)
It's super real and this is our lived experiences and when you are not living with these differences, it's not something that you notice. Like how or why would you notice? Because you are being treated differently as you move in the world. As you're sharing that story, I have to share this story and I think it's important to share these stories so people really do understand how different it is when you are living your experience, when you are living your experience as a person of color or another.

group. So very similar to what happened to you Dee, you know, every single year for my company, I always had this huge long review about how it needs to be more inclusive. And when 2020 happened, they were one of the companies that jumped on the bandwagon of where we're going to be very like pro, you know,

Diversity and we're gonna acknowledge this and yet when the ethos and the culture does not match that and I think this is an important conversation especially for other women to hear or people within the space that want to build an actual ethos of diversity and inclusion You know, they were all talk and then I did notice more people of color started to get hired on which was great Until one specific woman got hired

She was Dominican. And I think this goes back to kind of like colorism, white supremacy, how there has been such an indoctrination of systemic racism within the culture of the world that when her being Dominican, she is very racist against black.

So she would, yeah, it's very common. So she would identify as Afro Latina. And for anyone that doesn't understand what that is, Afro Latinas, they have Latin culture. They usually speak Spanish, but outwardly they do look black. Their skin is darker. They usually have curlier, more coarse hair. So if you just looked at them visually, if you categorize them in a race, they would be black.

Kelly Noble (21:15.15)
And in her interview with our white VP, one of the questions was asked, what is the most interesting thing about you that someone wouldn't know just by looking at you? Girl, what do you think this girl said? I'm so scared to know.

She said the most interesting thing about her that you wouldn't know by just looking at her is I'm not black. Oh Lord. And my VP, because again, he's very un -entuned to diversity, inclusion, his own privilege, anything of the above, he thought it was funny and she got hired.

Wait, what? Yes. And he thought it was funny. He thought it was funny. He thought it was funny. And so much so, we were literally at lunch together with a big group talking about the new hires because she like I needed some I needed an assistant. I needed someone to come on board and help help me. He tells a story. That's how I know about it. He tells a story about it. And in my mind, I'm like,

How is this even fucking real life that she got hired? That she is so blatantly racist that just because she's a woman of color, she still gets hired because they don't even see her conceptualize that this is such a big form and act of outward racism. She gets hired with me. It completely goes downhill because as she preaches again to me that she's not.

she's Dominican, she's Afro -Latina, all of these things, she says the N -word in my office, which A, in a professional setting, I don't think is appropriate no matter what. B, if you don't identify as black, why do you get permission to say that? Like, why are you saying that? I don't understand why this is coming out of your mouth. I just don't get why she doesn't identify as black. I never understood that.

Kelly Noble (23:33.87)
I'm a cruel Latina, maybe I'm ignorant and I don't know because at the end of the day the reason why you have darker hair and coarse skin or course darker skin and coarse hair is because through your ancestry there were slaves. Like baby girl you're from Africa you're black. Black honey.

Kelly Noble (23:56.654)
from Africa.

Kelly Noble (24:02.42)
Afro Latina means you from Africa, honey. So she gets hired. So it's like, and when I talk about this and I brought this up, like, because I was upset, a, that I was working with her because just like, right, if you're the type of person that's going to talk like that in the office, that's going to be so outwardly racist like that. That's going to say the N word. I mean, there were other things she was doing. She like had a guy come and they were making out in the office. She, oh God. Oh, she used to brag about like,

dating married men and how she loved dating married men. Like for me that was Well it sounds like she was a hot mess in general. Yes. So like I couldn't work with her anyways. Like I was like I can't be in this room with her. She also had racist comments to say to my husband. While my husband brought us food, my husband if anyone does not know is black, after he brought us food and he left she sits there and says oh my god I would never date a black man.

Kelly Noble (24:59.79)
sad though. That makes me so sad. I'm like, honey, I'm going to hop over this table and hurt you in five seconds. It is. It's the conditioning, you know, it's the conditioning, the way she was raised, what she sees on in the media, what she she has work to do within herself. Clearly. I mean, thousand percent. But this is her. This is what we are conditioned to believe that a black

I'm sorry, she's black. A black woman is afraid to own her blackness, to stand in it, to embrace it, to embody it, to love it and be proud of it. So much so that she is denying that side of herself. Yeah, 100%. It is sad, it is in a work. It happens in the Asian community as well, right? Like, especially being biracial, it's like, I don't know if I'm allowed to be Asian. I think I need to like...

lean into my whiteness, the acceptance, that piece of me. But the point of the story really is how is a company that is so pro supporting everything that happened in 2020, wanting to have diversity and inclusion, are still able to hire someone that is so outwardly racist and not even know it? And this is the problem, right? This is the root of...

not having the proper conversations, education, the willingness to actually implement and learn. Because Dee, I remember when we were doing the exercise at Follow Your Magic, I had to sit there and tell all of you, I am racist. I had realized that even though I have grown up with black friends, with Latina...

and Latino friends with Asian friends, a very diverse mix of people around me, even though I have a black husband, even though I have black family, even though I quote unquote don't see color because I just see people for who they are, 2020 was a real big activator for me to really sit and reflect. How can I not be racist? It is indoctrinated into our culture.

Kelly Noble (27:18.036)
For me it is generational. My great grandfather on my white side was a member of the KKK. Like, how is it not a part of me when I see the media, when I read the news, I'm noticing my own behavior of like, oh I see, I'm walking down the street and there's a group of black men on the corner. Maybe I should walk on the other side of the street. Would I do that if they were white? Maybe, because they're men. But like, those kind of questions have to go through.

my mind and I had to go through a very deep awakening of the internal work to unlearn a lot of the biases that I have picked up over the years through conditioning and media and so forth. So if you are not actively working on being not racist, you really have to do a deep dive and really see, am I truly not racist?

Because what have you truly done to unlearn all of the things that you have learned through music through everything else? And it's not even just outwardly racist because you know, like you said, you might not be outwardly racist, but these biases they do at the end of the day define as racism and it's being able to sit with that and accept it for what it is and be willing to change that part of you. It's not I don't want to say that racism isn't a bad thing. It is a bad thing, but.

these biases necessarily, especially if they are in your subconscious, like you said, doctored within your culture, like how would you know what to look out for without doing the work yourself? 100%. I mean, we're literally living in a country that is based off of stealing land and built off of stealing people.

And if you look at our deep history, which you know, if you look at the history and everything that has led us into creating race, like race is a contract that was created. When you look at all of this, how do you not have those implicit biases? Like, how do you not have them? It's impossible to not have them. And I don't see color is problematic. And I know that now the intention, right, is pure and beautiful. I really do see people for who they are.

Kelly Noble (29:42.062)
When me and my husband got together, I didn't realize that we were in a interracial relationship until someone said something. Yeah. I was like, oh shit, I guess you're right. Because I never saw my husband as this black man. I saw my husband as this beautiful human being. And the problem that lays within that is if you want to be naive or ignore the fact that there is systemic racism, which is very different than just traditional racism, systemic is...

There are things that have been consistently built to suppress and hold people back and you learn that as you learn the history. If you don't acknowledge and see that, you can't actually make anything better. You can't create a future to invite women of color and other marginalized groups in. You can't hire people without having these little implicit biases that are living under the subconscious of your mind. You can't fully see people for who they are.

Until you get a better understanding and knowledge of other people's lived experiences, even if you haven't lived them yourself exactly exactly So how do we make it better T? I've been waiting for you to ask me this so I'm gonna give you a perfect example of how this can come up at follow your magic we had one of the facilitators who herself mentioned, you know, I agree like I want this to be more diverse and I was so mad when I

invite women of color and they denied me and they don't want to join and I tried and what do I do and I sat there and I looked at them I'm like why are you upset though they don't feel safe and comfortable because there's no representation for them they're not gonna go out of their way to join some retreat with a bunch of strange white women who they have no idea who they are talking about things that they don't know like anything about subjects that they don't know about why would they feel in

to join your offer. You didn't show them anything that shows that there's representation or inclusivity for them to, you know, invoke any interest whatsoever. So my biggest recommendation for women like that that are looking for more diversity is bring on more diverse women in your spaces. Collaborate with creators and healers that come from a diverse background. Make it so that people of color feel safe coming to things like this.

Kelly Noble (32:10.254)
And because these are subjects that aren't openly discussed in communities, such as the black community specifically, they already are uncomfortable. This is a topic of conversation that they're not familiar with. Vulnerability is, we're taught to be strong, to hide behind these masks that we wear because we're taught that we have to be bigger, better than the next person. So of course they're not going to feel safe to do it in a black community, let alone a community full of white women.

So I think one of the big takeaways from that was explaining that to this woman that there's a lack of representation. They don't feel safe. They don't feel comfortable. So they're less likely to join whatever it is that you're offering them until that they notice and can see representation. It's not until then that they will peak a little bit of an interest in discovering what it is that you're offering. So I know where my.

right? Because it's like, okay, well, it's like what happens first, the chicken or the egg? You want diversity, but you can't really have people come to those spaces until you have representation, but you can't get representation until they feel safe. So it's like this ongoing vicious cycle. I know where my mind immediately goes to help alleviate some of that, but I'm curious for you, like how do you bridge that gap then to allow your space to be a nurturing welcome space for all when diversity and inclusion isn't represented? So here's my thing.

It's not like, so yes, there is a lack of representation, 110%. Before this recording, I got onto Google just to see exactly if my mind and my feelings were in alignment with facts. And I did a Google search of public figures in the personal development space. Not one black woman on every single one of those lists. Primarily male dominated. The women in there were white. There were here.

there a couple like maybe Middle Eastern there was an Asian man but they were men again not one black woman not one and they are out there I named a few to you and you're like oh I'm not sure who that is there there are a few out there you have to do your part as a woman that is white Caucasian a woman that has privilege

Kelly Noble (34:34.158)
It is your job to do the research to find those people, promote their businesses, collaborate with people that within your community that are of color. Nine times out of 10, if you have a woman in the wellness space that is a black woman, she will be willing to work with you because her goals, hopefully, are to also become more inclusive and involve more women of color. Of course, collaborating with other women of color within the community will definitely bridge that gap.

but that step has to be taken from some side, somewhere. Yeah, I agree. That's exactly where my mind wants to go. Because a lot of the times that I have these conversations with women, I ask them, I'm like, how active are you in putting yourself in those communities? Yeah. How often are you actively going to a black arts festival? Exactly. How often are you going to the museum?

black girls, how often are you going to meet up groups that are going to be primarily black? And usually nine times out of 10, it's like, no, I want them to come to me. Like I, I want this, which having the intention is always a start. Having that embodiment and having that intention and knowing that you want this, like that is a start and that's going to help attract people to you. And you also have to take action. Look at women in the space next to you.

DM them, talk to them, chat with them, look on, you know, Eventbrite, what events are going on that are for black women and the BIPOC community. Insert yourself in those spaces to learn and get to know them. I think it's very, very interesting though. This, I'm gonna talk about this because I remember I went to, gosh, I can't remember what it's called. Oh, Vibes in the Park.

I love this event. It happens every year during the summer, every like so Sunday. It's basically you just go to this park. It's downtown. You can bring your blankets. You can bring picnics. They got food. It's it's a vibe. And when you're there, it is primarily black. I'm used to being around those spaces. Like I'm comfortable in those spaces. I've been to all black churches, you know, again, I used to have almost all black friends at one point. Like I'm very comfortable in those spaces.

Kelly Noble (36:53.432)
I brought a friend who her fiance is biracial, he's black and white. I invited her and she's walking around and I could see that she was afraid. And I asked her, I said, have you ever been in a group of people like this before where it's just like, like all black, like where you're the minority for once? And she was like, nope. And she was like,

She's like, it's a vibe, like she was enjoying it, but I remember there was a woman, she had a couple of Doberman Pinchers, and she has a Doberman Pinscher, and she wanted to go talk to her, but she wouldn't. And I'm like, girl, I'll go over there with you, do you want me to go over there with you? Like, I don't understand, because there is a discomfort when you're the other one that's being othered. It's very, it's like a unknown feeling for a lot of people that are.

I have a question. Yes. Because we also discussed outfollow your magic, which is such a valid and important point in the healing spiritual self development space. It is also important for black women, women of color, marginalized groups to have their own independent spaces. Oh, yes. They are surrounded by their community because they can fully be seen and heard and acknowledged because there's just a piece of them that can only relate to other people that look like them.

It's also important to make sure we have diverse groups where we're learning from one another. In a community where it is primarily black and a white woman goes into that space,

Kelly Noble (38:32.174)
And they're feeling like they're infringing on being in their space. What would you say to that woman that is worried about that? The white woman that is coming in, what would I say to her? Standing your truth. I think that has a lot to do with self -empowerment and self -love. If you are sure of your intentions, sure of yourself and what it is you're looking for and what you want to get out of the experience, what other people think,

should not heavily impact who you are and what you are feeling on the inside. I am a believer in the external world should not have so much of an impact on you that it stops you from living your life. Also, it should not stop you from taking action. If you wanna see change, be the change. So go into those spaces. It's gonna be uncomfortable. Embrace it being uncomfortable. Embrace that feeling because guess what? Nine times out of 10, that's how most black women feel. So for one time,

for a couple hours, if you have to be that other person, embrace it. Learn what it feels like to be that person. Is it gonna be scary? Maybe, because it's a foreign feeling, it's a foreign thing to do, but does that mean you shouldn't do it? Absolutely not, absolutely not. Embrace that fear, embrace the discomfort, and then see what you can take away from it. Yeah, 100%, I think it's such an important experience to be in that discomfort if you do feel it.

Or again, be curious about it. Like I said, when I was walking down the street, I'm like, okay, why am I feeling like I gotta walk on the other side? That's something for me to tap into it and discover within. I'm gonna ask some questions, only because I just had a conversation with a white woman and I think it's important and fair, right? What is your best suggestion to help...

white women communicate with women of color when it's uncomfortable conversations. I'll give you an example. I was talking to my friend, again, she's wanting to have more diversity in her spaces. She wants to help women of color get to the next level within their businesses. And she remembers when it was 2020 and she did bring up the conversation of like, I see what's happening. Like I...

Kelly Noble (40:53.934)
understand what's happening. I want you to know that I'm here to help support you through this." And the women of color said, I don't want to talk about this. This is like, why do we even bring this up? She immediately shut down. She felt like, oh, I thought I was doing a good thing. I wanted to show support. And then I got completely knocked down, completely like said the wrong thing. They didn't even want to talk about it. I feel awkward now. What can you, what can you give as a suggestion for women, white women to help with?

the conversations around this topic? Absolutely. I can see how this can be very intimidating. Like I'm not, that doesn't, it doesn't like surpass my mind that this can be a very emotionally heavy thing to do and nerve wrecking. But at the same time, again, I take it back to yourself as the self -love coach. It's all within you. I think about this when,

something similar happened to me. And I think it also depends on the person that you're speaking to. Someone that you know, even if it isn't someone you know, be transparent. The thing is, you're not going to have the right things to say. There are a lot, a big majority of the black community, we are still in a space of pain and have held on to those racial, there's racism, it goes both ways.

racial biases against white people. I'm victim of that. When I was younger, I used to be like, oh, I hate white people. Not even understanding what it really meant until I got older and understood that I don't hate white people. I hate the system. I hate the system that is holding me back and not allowing me to feel safe and to feel seen and heard and understood. It's not white people. It's the system that I hate. But...

understanding that there are going to be people that are still in that headspace, that still haven't done the work within themselves and are still hurting internally. And when you do face people like that, being transparent, like, listen, I'm not trying to come off as ignorant. I'm uneducated when it comes to this topic. Be honest about it. You maybe don't have the right things to say and you aren't educated on exactly how to navigate conversations like this, but owning that and being honest about it.

Kelly Noble (43:15.886)
and trying to use it as a learning opportunity where you say what your piece is, let someone know that you're there if they choose to use you as a resource or a support system, but not taking it personally if someone shuts you down. That has to do with your own self -confidence, what your intentions are, how much you know what you are doing is true to your authentic self and that you genuinely do have this interest. If you truly have that interest of making a difference, that one...

that says I'm not interested back away from me, why are you talking to me, isn't gonna stop you from wanting to continue to do good in the world. Yeah, I love what you just said.

I love what you just said and I think to break that down even more, right? Ignorance can be used only for so long. So if you are truly wanting to be in this space, you have to start with educating yourself. It is not the responsibility of women of color or people living with disability to educate you on their struggles. Exactly. You can still have conversations about it.

But the conversation is so much more productive and I think women of color would lead the conversation with more of an open heart if they realize that you have actually educated yourself into what is actually happening. Exactly. And putting yourself and speak from experience, not just saying I've read a book about it. Okay, you read a book, but did you go drive by Skid Row and sit there for a little bit? Like, I don't know. Like, did you actually put yourself in a position where you actually had to experience some of these things? Yeah, 100%.

I think again, like it leans into like taking the action and like leading with actually making the effort. Like there is generations of pain that has happened. And I think it's a good point that you said too, like I had to do my own healing also around like hating white people because white people were the ones that made fun of me. White people were like, again, it's not that I hate white people, it's that I hate the systems that have created all of this.

Kelly Noble (45:20.182)
because there are very smart white supremacy is a very smart virus it continuously it continuously evolves and changes and learns and adapts to continuously go unnoticed until you actually see it and experience it for yourself too yes it is consistently creating these systems of oppression to help separate us the easiest way to separate us

is to make us fear each other, to not see each other, to not know each other. And one of the important things that I always like to mention when we're having these types of conversations is I feel like when we talk about otherness and race and this topic, there's two pieces. For me, one piece is like understanding it, right? You have to really learn it. You have to be active in it. Pick up a freaking book. Read a book about what has caused...

these systems. Learn about the history. Understand that there are implicit biases. Understand that there are things that have happened and for a lot of these marginalized groups, there's a lot of commonalities. On the flip side, also get to know the person individually.

Because you're continuously in that bias II loop if you're like well, she's black so that means she's probably uneducated She's gone through there. She's experienced this and this has happened so like I read all the books. I know all the things and You're in this like demographic. I get it now. Yeah, which is the furthest thing from the truth Get to know the person individually. What is their lived experience? How do they feel? What have they come up with?

Because when you actually learn about the individual themselves, then you see them again as being human. And I feel like it's all coming back to bring the humanness back to everybody. We all have unique needs. And just because you're black, like we had this conversation, do you remember having this conversation about 2020 George Floyd? For you, it was something you wanted to talk about. For you, it was something that was really weighing heavily on you. For my husband, he was like,

Kelly Noble (47:33.998)
This is nothing new to me. This is my lived experience every day I don't want to talk about it just because everyone else wants to make a big deal of it. This is my experience I don't need to talk about this yeah, and that's a perfect example of like for that woman that's wanting to have that had the conversation it's like Get to know the person Okay, dive deeper into who they are Maybe they don't want to talk about it because it's so painful for them. Maybe if they're talking about it. It's reactivating

more trauma for them. So if you get to know them, then you can see how you can actually fully support them. And then when you go to have the conversation again with somebody else, you have to remember that this new person is not that other person. Exactly. That's why I said it depends on who they're speaking to. You have to keep in mind that the person you're speaking to and understand their perspective as well. 100%. I feel like that's like that is, I mean, this is personal.

Right? Like this is spirituality. It's seeing how connected we are with one another. Because we are all connected. We all have the same pains. We all have the same wants and desires in our lives. A family of love, of connection. And also, everyone is also different. We all have different stories. Exactly. When we're talking about where we would like to see the space going, let's talk about future pacing it.

What would we love to see in the spirituality, self -development space? Girl, you are speaking to my heart right now because I see so much. I want to see a black woman in the space of like your Mel Robbins, your Tony Robbins. Like we need that. Those figures are so well known. I want to see a black woman in that role. And I have some women.

kind of in that space, but they're not well known for the personal development. You know what I mean? Like I even mentioned Tabitha Brown to you and you were like, oh, the lady that does cooking. And I'm like, that's not all she's known for. Like I want someone to be like, oh yeah, that's her spiritual leader, that personal development icon that hosts retreats throughout the year. Like we need that. It's time. It's been past time.

Kelly Noble (49:53.774)
It's overdue. I agree. And like, let's take it down to like a deeper level. Why is that so important? It's important because I think it'll help change the entire world. I think that offering having a public figure like that within the wellness community that represents women of color, BIPOC altogether. I think it will encourage more people to look within, do the work within, to do the personal development work. And honestly, when you do start,

doing this work, it activates an enlightened version of yourself. And the further along this journey you go, the higher consciousness you have, the better the world will be. It will so profoundly have a massive impact on this world if there are more people from all diverse backgrounds doing the work and intentionally trying to make the world a better place. Ugh, I'm like getting emotional. I can like feel. Like I feel.

like a soul level, I have goosebumps all over my arms and legs. Like it's something I'm so passionate about. It is so beautiful because, you know, for so long, the narrative and the story has been written by one demographic, maybe two. And when we finally give the voice of other communities to share their knowledge and their viewpoints and their perspectives.

The healing and expansion that that brings to everybody, the changes that happen within for everybody, because it is more than just helping uplift those specific communities, because when every community can come together and learn from one another, oh my gosh, I'm like, world peace? I don't know. I feel like I'm auditioning for Miss America. I just want world peace. Yes, I do. I know, I do too, the same.

They both have such similar stories and I think a lot of people listening have similar stories of like they know what it's like to be depressed. They know what it's like to not love themselves. They know the pain and the suffering that has happened in their lives and they were stuck in that energy for way too long. And when you start in this space and you start rediscovering yourself and you start tapping back into your authenticity and how much you love yourself, you see the world in such a different place.

Kelly Noble (52:17.07)
You can see the world where everyone is loving each other because they love themselves. You can see the policies that can happen. You can see the wars starting to go away because we're all working together collaboratively. Not to say that it's gonna be all like woo woo and love and peace. Like, right, life is about duality. There's always gonna be pain. There's always gonna be struggle, but we can shift the narrative from the current.

Reality that we have seen for way too long that is not working where you know There's genocides happening where there are women's rights being taken away where all of this hate that's happening in the world When we can transmute that into something else that happens with us it happens when we come together it happens when we learn from all of the other Groups that have a voice because everyone's voice matters and the more of us that commit to doing this work

It creates like this almost ripple effect where it starts to affect everyone beyond. And the more of us that do this and commit to doing the work, the more people we can affect and the more change we can implement. Yes. Oh, I can see the vision. So I know it's going to happen. So excited. Do you can manifest Beyonce tickets like front row? I can manifest a lot of things. Listen, if only you knew what's been going on the last couple of weeks. So I...

If you can manifest Beyonce tickets, we can manifest a world peace. Like, easy. Absolutely. We can do this. Totally joking. It takes way more effort than that. So let's give some easy actionable steps. I know we kind of like talked about everything, but let's give everyone listening like some tangible steps. Whether you're a white woman, whether you're a black woman, whether, no matter who you are.

What are some steps to move forward to help bridging the gap for us to to start having these conversations and start bringing that unity that we're all seeking at an unconscious level So I'm gonna start off by speaking to the black community first and foremost I think that if you are listening to this podcast you have an interest And I think it's your duty to put yourself in those spaces that might be a little uncomfortable for you Start going to the retreats start signing up for the workshop

Kelly Noble (54:40.974)
putting yourself out there and sharing what it is that you have to share. Because as much as you want to sit there and wait for the invitation, you have to take action for yourself as well. So I encourage anyone that is curious to start putting themselves in places where they can take up space and allow themselves to feel the discomfort, work through it, move through it, and move beyond it. And then when it comes to my Caucasian sisters, I really do encourage you to put yourself in the black community.

You say you want to see more inclusivity and you want to see more diversity. Well, it's time that you take the action and put your money where your mouth is. Go into the black spaces, make yourself seen in black communities, collaborate with black creators. I cannot stress that enough. That is what's black women have black followings. It's time for you to collaborate with black women in the spaces that you are looking to tap into and show that you are welcoming of all races. Show that there is a pla -

for black women within your community because that will draw in that community towards you. Not just that, but also educating yourself, again, both ways. Learn about the systemic oppression, learn how it is that you can make it more inclusive for all parties involved. Like we said earlier, it's not just about black versus white. There's Latinas, there's the LGBTQ community. There are so many different,

communities that have been oppressed for so many years and it's time that we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations to do the research to experience it and Just integrate it into our daily lives. Honestly. Yeah, I love I love everything that you just said I know that I always like to recommend books. Hmm, you can listen to books my favorite books when I was first getting introduced into all of this work was

My Body is Not an Apology. It's written by a black queer woman, and I think that one's beautiful because it also touches on size difference also. Caste. Caste is a really, really good book because it literally will teach you the systems of oppression and how it originated through actual, like...

Kelly Noble (57:03.042)
your class system. It was to keep the rich rich and the poor poor. It actually had nothing to do with race in the beginning. Race was all about the systems. All about the systems. So you want to talk about race? Also written. That's another. It's a really good one written by a black woman. What is the other one? The new Jim Crow.

That will give you a good understanding of history from slavery again, it talks about the caste system why color was thrown into the mix to help divide and separate people when The enslaved people were quote -unquote being freed Put that in quotations And I would always suggest if you are doing this research make sure your

Finding the resources, like if you're wanting to learn about race, make sure it's written by a person of color. If you want to learn about people living with disability, make sure you're reading a book.

from the perspective of someone that has suffered of disability. Yes, 100%. It's going to give you a better understanding of the actual experience. And when we talk about like investing in, continuously invest in these groups that you are wanting to be a part of. Like put your money where your mouth is and pour into those communities. Another thing I want to mention is, and this is something that I have as a

goal for D. Franklin coaching is scholarship funding. Coaching, the coaching community and business is very expensive as it should be because this type of work that we do I think is life -changing and I don't really think there's a price tag that you can put on that. However, marginalized communities don't have access to stuff like this and I think it's so important that women do have resources such as coaching and mentorship programs. Next time you're doing a fundraiser,

Kelly Noble (59:06.296)
a lot a percentage of that to go towards scholarship funding for women, marginalized women, marginalized communities that wouldn't on a regular basis, a day to day basis be able to afford your services, but because you have scholarship funding set aside, you can offer these and offer these scholarships to these women. I think it's so important. I myself just got granted a scholarship. I'm so excited to be able to use a scholarship to my advantage and.

further educate myself in terms of the healing community and the healing space. Having these scholarships available to women, I think is life -changing, because I would not have been able to do this program without the scholarship. And the fact that they specifically had this set aside for women of color, people of color, was a blessing. I'm so happy you said that.

because accessibility matters, right? And as you continuously learn and dive into the history and again talking about systemic oppression, like people of color have been intentionally kept.

They've been forced to be quote unquote poor. Whether it is redlining with real estate, whether it is literal towns being burnt down because they were thriving. Businesses, oh my gosh. As you learn about the history, there have been so many systems of oppression to literally keep people of color poor.

And so when you see it from that lens, yes, you have this $10 ,000 coaching program, but have they had had the same economic opportunities to maybe go to the college that they really deserve to go to because they are meant to be there as opposed to a legacy? Or are they actually getting the jobs like you said, Dee? Names are a big deal.

Kelly Noble (01:00:51.118)
There are times where your name won't even get you an interview, even though you are more qualified. There is tons and tons of research and studies around a white man that has something on his record is still more likely to get hired than a black man that has nothing on his record. I have literally heard stories of people that were in the interview process. And I had a friend that worked for a company. They were looking at manuals.

resumes and they looked at names and the managing, the hiring manager literally was like not this one, not this one, not this one, don't call that one, call these ones. All because of their name. Like this is something that is truly happening. So when you can set up scholarship funds, scholarship opportunities, creating things that are accessible for these communities to have access to, it helps give them those same opportunities. This is how we create equity.

Love it! Yes, this is how we create equity. We pour into the communities that need it the most and then they get to be this beautiful ripple of change. They get to be this beautiful ecosystem that they can then pour into their communities now that they have this knowledge, this accessibility, the access.

They get opportunities maybe to be in groups of women that are multimillion dollar business owners. Now they get to learn from those women when that is not always accessible. So like it just creates so much change to be able to do that. And I'm sorry, if you are charging $10 ,000, if you're making 10, 15, 20, a hundred million dollar months, you have access to give lots of scholarship opportunities. And if that is not the -

top of your mind right now, I really think you need to do a little soul searching on the inside and see why you need to be making this much money without giving access to these people. It makes me so mad when I see. That's like one of the things I look forward to most is developing my craft and being able to

Kelly Noble (01:03:00.276)
go in underserved communities and speaking and talking to young women because it starts there. It starts there, going to high schools and elementary schools and offering my services and not even having to worry about an exchange of anything because I want to be able to have the funding that I can just give my time freely to these people. Oh, I love that you said that, right? Because the point of creating wealth is not just to have more money. The point of creating wealth is so you have more time.

So you have time to go into these communities. So you have time to lean into your passions. You know, maybe your community is women that are leaving domestic violence. Yes. Maybe your community is helping people that have the same disability as you. Maybe you're, whatever that is, it's to give back. That is the point of creating all of this wealth. Like for me, we talked about this, like I have my program.

And I always had in my mind. It's this lack mentality of well when I make this much money Then I can finally do scholarships like I've been dreaming of when I get to this point in my business I'll finally be able to give back and I sat there with that and I was like, why am I creating this excuse? Now literally the knowledge that I'm giving could be given for free. It's not like

It's not like I need to gatekeep this and charge everyone. I can open up a scholarship opportunity so they have the opportunity to learn from me, to learn from the other women in this space, be exposed to multi -million dollar business owners so they know how to grow their business. And in the same breath, those multi -million dollar business owners have so much to learn from the other women that aren't there yet in their business.

Can I just say that was something that I love so much. One of your Follow Your Magic co -facilitators and I hosted an event in December and the diversity in that room.

Kelly Noble (01:05:05.934)
I still get goosebumps thinking about it. You had your like rich Caucasian women in one corner mingling with, you know, someone that was less fortunate. I just love to see how diverse that group of women was and that is my goal. I want that moving forward. There's so much to learn from both ends because I'm sorry, when you are a business owner and you're from a marginalized group and maybe systemically you haven't had the same opportunities and you've had to bootstrap a lot of stuff.

The creativity that comes from that, where when you are making million dollar months and you don't have to be as creative because you can kind of just like spend money to get what you need, the creativity that they're tapped into, the new ways and perspectives of looking at problems and challenges is so beautiful. Like there's so much to learn on either end. It's never like, oh, you don't have money, so you're less than, or oh, you have a lot of money, you're more than.

That is not the community. That is not, no, that is not my vibe at all. We are all the same. We all have blessings. We all have traumas. We all have value, period. We all have value to be pouring into one another and learning from one another. So scholarship opportunities are so freaking important. It's gonna be so expansive for other women to be exposed to different types of women. Like it just is.

I love it. I'm so excited. We're actually planning Follow Your Magic now. I'm already thinking about what we're gonna do for the second round of like bringing this conversation to light. I'm so grateful I was a part of that with you during last year's Follow Your Magic. I'm very grateful for the other women that really took something from that, the white women that took something from that and they became a ripple of change.

You know, one of the women turned it into her book launch and she had these conversations and she was already an ally, but I think there was like a little piece of her of like, but I don't know how to bring it up. I don't know how to really like talk about this. What if, what if I make certain groups upset and they leave? And for her experiencing that and seeing what can happen when it's done in a nurturing and supportive space, she changed a bunch of people's lives that day.

Kelly Noble (01:07:29.678)
another woman went to another retreat talking about the experience she had, wanting to open the dialogue and conversation about, hey, like, are we lacking diversity in these spaces? What's going on? I had these conversations, you know, it sometimes is just a seed to be planted. So I'm so excited for Follow Your Magic 2024. It's gonna be beautiful. It's gonna be amazing. Any last words that you want to say, Dee? Because I know like,

This has just lit a fire under you and I want to make sure whatever you have to say is expressed. I just feel like everyone needs to lead their life with love. At the end of the day, like you said, we all come from different backgrounds. We all have different lived experiences. We all have different traumas, different difficulties, different triumphs. But if you are coming from a place of true love and you are exuding the love and the light within yourself,

You are not taking any wrong steps, I promise you. It might not be received well from someone else, but if you are genuinely leading your life with love, there is nothing to worry about. There is nothing that you can do wrong. Just continue to walk in the light of love. Mic drop, girl. Yes, amen, girl. Preach that. 100%. Okay, so if anyone wants to work with you, how do they do that?

Well, you can shoot me a DM on my Instagram. It's at D Frank. That's at D with three E's E E E dot Frank. And yeah, just shoot me a message. I've got a link in my bio that you can check out. Just shoot me a message. I'd love to talk to you. Her DMs are always open. I know you have like a really good freebie for women to tap into their self love.

I love it. So my freebie is this amazing ebook called unstuck and unstoppable. It's basically a women's guide to cultivating confidence and building boundaries. It is the foundation of how I ended up on my own self love journey. I have amazing little work sheets in there and exercises for people to use. I even have a guy reach out to me that was like, this was so helpful. Thank you. I was like, Oh, okay. So sis, get out there. Check it out. See what you think. Let me know.

Kelly Noble (01:09:48.522)
And you have one -on -one coaching programs as well open right now. I do have one -on -one coaching available right now I have posted events in the past and I have one coming up in February. So stay tuned for that Shoot me a follow and I will keep you all updated. Well, thank you so much D. I love you so much. I'm so happy we had this conversation Thank you for having me again. We'll definitely be back because we're gonna dive more into this so

I will leave it with this. If you've listened to this and you're like, I have questions, I'm not sure, what do I do? Please send them to me and we can have a whole nother conversation answering questions, getting to the nitty gritty, seeing maybe where you are falling in creating the space, maybe new ideas. So if you have questions, just drop the link. But thank you everyone for listening and we'll see you next week. Yay, thank you for having me. Love and light everyone.

Where is the record?

Kelly Noble (01:10:49.23)
recording stopped. That was fun! Yay! I'm so happy! Thank you so much! So good that lit my heart on fire!